Father Kiernan O’Flynn had the most unusual assignment in all of Ireland and also the most desired. He was specifically charged by the Bishop to preach the Good News in the Pubs and Inns throughout the Emerald Isle.
His fellow Priests wondered often aloud how he received such an assignment. They, of course, were allowed to do so but it was only to Father Kiernan that the Bishop gave specific orders to frequent the pubs at least five times a week.
Of course what the Bishop knew about Kiernan O’Flynn was kept secret from the rest of the ordained flock. Kiernan was one-fourth leprechaun. That being the case Kiernan could drink twenty pints of Guinness and still be totally sober. His tolerance for the brew was so great in fact that the Bishop sternly warned him to go slow lest his capabilities accidentally encourage another lesser man to drink too much.
Kiernan and the Bishop’s family went back several generations. The Bishops Great-great Grandfather had done a deed of remarkable kindness to Kiernan’s father and as such the two families were fast friends forever. Kiernan’s father fell in love with an Irish maid who herself was half Leprechaun long after his first wife met with a horrible accident. Soon the two were married and Kiernan came to be.
His ruddy complexion, his red curling locks and just the hint of points at the ear were a clue to any who would so imagine. Kiernan’s ability at running and jumping and most of all his dancing and singing spoke of his lineage. All these he used to great profit as he made friends at the Pubs so that he could engage them in more serious matters such as the fate of their immortal souls.
Kiernan was a wonderful speaker and many the soul he got back into a pew on Sunday mornings. His ability to impress the barstool denizens did not go unnoticed by his fellow Priests. Many asked to follow him into the pubs which he readily agreed to. Others that were unable to do so asked Kiernan to write down for them the words he used to such effect. Sadly for them, each and every such request Kiernan denied.
Kiernan had a second secret that only he and the Bishop were aware of. It was not a terrible secret of great sin, indeed the issue was unknown to Kiernan until he tried to write down his words that had been so successful for the Bishops review.
The Bishop still had that short note in his top drawer. It read:
Remember Dog is forgiving
Dog is faithful to His promises.
Dog is refreshing like a cool draft of Ale
Dog satisfies your thirst like that second glass.
Dog will wait for you to return to Him
Dog will never turn away from you if you turn towards him.
It was then the Kiernan O’Flynn first learned that he was the world’s only Dyslexic Leprechaun!